"My Long COVID journey"

So my journey began in September 2021. My symptoms were flu like symptoms, But I was extremely Cold. I had been out doing my care job and I just couldn’t get warm. I remember going to bed at 1pm. It was a Sunday afternoon, I didn’t wake until 3am in the morning, The sweat was pouring from me, everything was soaking, by this time I had developed a cough.

I knew then there was something not right. So did Covid tests which came back positive. So I contacted my employers to inform them. They said that was ok and hopefully see me in 10 days.

So throughout that week I had symptoms of flu. But I remember by the Saturday I felt I had got worse. I had gone upstairs and when I got to the top I broke out on a sweat, Felt really sick, I managed to get to my bedroom were I lay on top of the bed until the feeling passed, about 20 mins. but I knew then I was very sick. It was a sickness I had never felt before it made me feel I was going to collapse. Sunday was a struggle but I told family I was ok, so they wouldn’t worry.

By the Monday I couldn’t walk but I didn’t want to tell my family, but when my daughter came to my window she knew. I didn’t have any strength to open the door, so she climbed in through my window, got me wrapped up and took me to a Covid clinic in Ballymena. Were they brought a wheelchair to the car. It was the Doctor there that called an ambulance and admitted me to Antrim area hospital.

My hospital journey was very traumatic. The day I was admitted I lay in A&E to about 10 pm that night, and then I was admitted to the Covid ward. I remember being wheeled in a wheelchair along the corridor which was so quiet. I needed the bathroom, were the nurse had to help me. I was so weak just so breathless. I was breathing in a very strange way, I could feel it. After going into the ward and observations done, I didn’t sleep much that night, but I knew I was becoming weaker. Even moving my hand made me breathless. It was the strangest feeling, lying there so weak , I couldn’t move. I was put unto oxygen at that stage. I remember looking around me, there was six beds all filled with Covid patients. We were all extremely ill. In the ward I found myself going into very deep places. I remember there was alot of noise, I’m guessing it was all the machines. Mine was extremely loud. It was cold as well because all the windows were open I think because of all the Oxygen machines.

On the Tues evening my condition had deteriorated, so I was told I was going to be put on a machine called CPap. The nurse told me I would find it uncomfortable but would get used to it. This was very traumatizing and claustrophobic. I remember struggling with this. I couldn’t get my breathing pattern right as Air was being blown down into my lungs at great force. It was very frightening. I had this on from the Tues evening until the Saturday. I was also given a drug via a Drip. This was a new drug. I don’t think I would have survived without this. I was in the prone position most of my time in hospital, So I had developed two really sore bedsores on my elbows which had to be dressed each day.I didn’t find this prone position hard as this was the way I slept at home. But alot of patients couldn’t do it.

It was all so like a movie. Really ill people, medical staff all covered up. All corridors red taped of. If you were going for a scan you and the person that was wheeling you in the wheelchair were the only people on this corridor. It was so surreal.

I remember being so ill on the second Saturday and I was lying thinking I can’t do this anymore. And I was planning my death. And what I wanted. And that was to die on my own. I didn’t want my family to see me like this cause I knew they would be so traumatized and upset. So I had planned to just slip away. I was going to leave them a letter before being put to sleep, and make sure that they understood why I had made that decision.

But I can’t explain what happened next other than something had spoke to me, and said Fight this. You're not going anywhere, So from that moment on I started fighting, I began to realise it’s either fight this or die. I had 2 Choices. I wasn’t ready to go anywhere. So I fought. It was a long journey but I did it. Two days before getting out of hospital I was able to sit on a chair beside my bed. It was only for a short time but I did it with the help of a lovely nurse who kept willing me on telling me I could do it.