"No care or sympathy for what I've been through"

I had a very agonising miscarriage at 11 weeks. Me and my husband went to A&E in the early hours as I was in a lot of pain since the evening before with intensifying cramps and a lot of bleeding. I got bloods taken and sent back in the waiting room I was told the doctor will see me in an hour.

When my pains got unbearable and I was crying and asking if I can get something for the pain, they took me in but at this point I was in so much pain I was on the floor crying. From then on it was a blur as the pain was so intense I was screaming. They rushed me to the major trauma centre where I was still out of my mind in pain begging for it to stop. They kept telling me they couldn’t give me anything because of the baby. No one told me what was happening until the moment I felt I passed the fetus, when the doctor finally came and explained what was happening. I really appreciated that as no one at this point actually talked to me. They told me the nurse was going to help me get changed and then left.

The nurse was the most wonderful human being. I am so forever grateful to her and her kindness. She made me feel safe and was so kind to me, I told her I couldn’t look at the fetus and she said it’s ok, I will do everything for you you don’t have to. And she did, she helped me get changed and took the fetus and put it in a box. After that I was given some pain medication and managed to fall asleep.

In the morning we got moved to another much smaller room where they told us we had to wait for the ambulance to take me to the early pregnancy unit. The unit is the same hospital but not connected. We waited 3 hours to get moved there. When we arrived we were put in a room - no one came to tell us what was happening what we were waiting for.

After about an hour and a half someone came to say the doctor should be coming soon. They came and were very matter of fact telling me that I’ll have an exam to see if there’s any remaining tissue. I didn’t feel like I could ask any questions, it felt so rushed and matter of fact. I tried to ask about all the tests and bloods that I had earlier and if they showed anything, but they said no, all normal. I wasn’t made aware of my HCG levels at all or told what size the fetus was. When they checked my cervix for remains in the same room without even asking if it’s ok to do it in front of my husband, they told me they removed the last of the tissue  and there wasn’t any bleeding so according to the procedure I wasn’t to have a scan to check if my uterus was actually empty. I asked if there’s a possibility that if I had another baby in there it could still be alive and they practically laughed at my ridiculous question and said it’s not possible. I felt very insignificant and stupid. After that they told me that the nurse was going to take off my cannula and we should be on our way. They gave me a “why me?” brochure and that was it. The nurse didn’t come for another hour.. 

As a whole I’m very grateful to some of the staff at A&E. I saw kindness which really helped me through the darkest of times when the pain was unbearable. But in the EPU I felt awful, rushed, insignificant, stupid, and a nuisance almost. And didn’t get any support, no care or sympathy for what I’ve been through in those 12 hours. I’ve got no follow up from my GP or midwives at all. Do I need to call them? I don’t know, I have no idea what to do next, no one told me. I feel lost. All I have is a brochure.