"Separating mother and baby"

I am writing to give feedback about my experience of having my baby son seven weeks early in the Birthing Centre at the Royal Infirmary Edinburgh.

It was an emergency situation due to me having severe pre-eclampsia and there was no time to plan anything. However the staff were very reassuring and kind and explained everything that would happen to me.

They explained that my baby would be taken into another room to be cared for whilst other staff looked after me and this was fine as obviously the health of my baby and myself has to come first. They also explained that my baby and myself may be moved to St John's as the Neonatal unit in Edinburgh was nearly full.

Whilst it was hard not being with my baby immediately after birth, I fully understood the reasons and staff had explained it would be some time before I could see him and they kindly took me round to the unit to see him about 4 hours after having him. Again staff were lovely and enabled me to get as close to him as I possibly could. When I returned to my room, a student nurse very kindly came and showed me how to start expressing my milk in order to give my son the best start in life as although I wasn’t planning on breastfeeding, I was made aware of the benefits of him having my milk so I was determined to do this.

However, after midnight, I was advised that my son would be moving to Kirkcaldy but I was not allowed to travel with him. My husband was going but I was not allowed. I cannot explain the trauma and distress I felt at being separated from my son and do not understand why the two of us could not have travelled together or why I couldn’t have been taken over there for the birth. He was transferred at 4am in the morning and I spent the rest of the time crying and aching for my son. I was also worried about how he was going to be fed since I was not there to provide my milk. A member of nursing staff did come and see me in the morning to advise that they are trying their best to have me transferred to be with my son and I was eventually transferred at lunchtime and allowed my mum to come in to be with me at 5 in the morning as I was so upset and my husband had travelled by car to be with our son.

This was my first child and I understand the urgency of having to deliver him but I just do not understand why we were separated. This is still affecting me several weeks after his birth as I am finding it difficult to process why we were separated and why we both couldn't have gone to Kirkcaldy at the same time.

I have written this as I need answers as to why any service in healthcare feels that it would be acceptable and good practice to separate a mother and baby by such a distance. I understand the need to be moved and I have no problem with this, I just need to understand why we weren't moved together as I hadn't had any complications with my section or afterwards. I was also advised that we were moved, not because the space we were occupying was needed, but “just in case it was needed”. Surely it could have waited a few hours to allow us to travel together or at least at the same time.

I am awaiting a referral to Psychology as a result of this experience but no-one is able to say how long this wait may be but perhaps if you could give me answers, it would help me to process it. I am also now struggling with finding out some of the treatment given to my son and myself as NHS Lothian say that they can’t access my notes at Kirkcaldy. As a result of this, my son has never had the RSV vaccination and when I have questioned this at my local GP, they have advised that they don’t know what’s happened as they can’t access the notes at Fife. Wouldn’t there have been some kind of handover when I was transferred from the RIE to Kirkcaldy and back again?

I have used this platform as I have no idea who to contact. As I said, all the staff I have came into contact with have been fantastic so this is not a complaint against them but against the practice of separating mothers and babies at birth.