"Community midwife care"

During my first pregnancy the community midwife left me in tears after every appointment feeling very disappointed and like I was doing something wrong as I had gained weight. They would talk a lot about my diet, how big the bump/baby was and then point out the websites for me to gain knowledge of the rest. 

My friend recently received care through the lotus team and this is when I got very confused on the differences between her care and what mine had been previously, not once had she been spoken to like I was instead the lotus team prepared her for a safe and happy pregnancy and delivery - talking through everything to prepare her and never about that she ate or the size she was. 

So when it came to next pregnancy I was dreading the thought of being assigned the same midwife praying I’d be luckily enough to get a lotus team midwife which I wasn’t. It was the same midwife again, from my booking in appointment they commented on my weight (87kg) and told me I definitely will have gestational diabetes this pregnancy. 

(Which I didn’t when I tested!! Even though after I researched this it seems to be not weight but diet that makes this true about gestational diabetes) 

I was questioned what I eat in a day and they told me if I was telling the truth I’d only be 8 stone. 

I was in shock that a professional would speak to anyone in this manner but what made it worse I had a miscarriage only 4 months prior so they knew how anxious I was this pregnancy but instead of making this booking in appointment a celebration, I was told how I should be exercising more and causing me a great more stress. Every bit of food I ate before I had my diabetes test was met with guilt and worry that they would  be right, making me so anxious that I’d cause my baby harm if I put more weight on. 

I was only offered morning appointments one day a week and that didn’t suit me for childcare so I thought win win I could get a new midwife and not have to confront this member of staff. But the reply was as long as I had seen a consultant I didn’t need to see a community midwife as well so I’m now 37 weeks pregnant and have only been seen every 4 weeks by a consultant who has assured me the growth of my baby is fine but I have not had any advice or guidance that you would receive from a midwife. 

I’m telling this story as I don’t want another Women to be left feeling how I have this pregnancy and having a midwife who makes them feel the way I have been left.

I finally spoke out to the consultant about my experience and they have changed the community midwife so I’ll get one appointment before my baby arrives. I of course looked at the websites that my green folder has in and have tried to prepare myself as best as I can for the arrival of my baby but it would have been a much more positive experience had I had the support of a professional caring midwife throughout this pregnancy.