"Empathy, dignity and respect - palliative care"

My family member was admitted to AMU RIE via A&E after being made palliative. The staff on the shift when we were admitted that evening just after hand over were brilliant over night, attentive, showing great dignity and respect to the fact that our family member was dying. Offering teas and coffees, making sure we were fine just as much as our family member. Also pushing to see if we could get a single room for more privacy. 

The next morning is where the decline in the care started and us as a family were pretty upset. Information about our family member was getting told to a completely different family unaware it was being heard. For palliative patients 2 hourly care, even checking oral mouth care should have been happening, but wasn't until one of our family members got up asking for this to be done. When waiting to ask for assistance a staff member was sitting perched on a desk with the computer on wheels ignoring one of our family members waiting to ask for assistance. The charge nurse did see this and came up to ask and was very quick to act on it.

Poor notice of the thistle or awareness of what was happening within this bay. As a family we sat trying to spend time with our family member who was dying and all we listened to was drs having TEP and DNAR conversations. Later staff moved a patient directly in front of the bed space my family member was in, and instead of lifting the chair the staff dragged it while slamming cupboards. 

It was very much appreciated when our family member was moved to a side room. The night staff that evening were very attentive, constantly checking in on the family. 

On the day our family member passed, it was disappointing to say the least. One member of staff was so unempathetic, never engaged with the family or the family member who was the patient. No one checked in on the family, whether they needed anything such as water or hot drinks. I fully appreciate AMU is a busy ward but palliative care is important for the patient and the family, and they should never be made to feel that they were ignored.

One family member came out to inform the staff that they had passed, the staff continued to speak to each other giggling and joking knowing that they were standing there. 5 minutes they stood until a member of staff who claimed she didn't work there asked if they were ok. When informed our family member passed, the other nurse went to get another nurse where they walked in, looked, pulled the curtain and basically walked back out leaving the syringe driver running.

We waited over an hour where no one came to check if we needed anything, also waited for a doctor to come and verify. Us as a family wanted to have reassurance from the doctor and were willing to step out the room to give the time for that job to be done so we as a family could go back in and spend some more time with them. It took a further 45 mins after another family member went out to ask about the Doctor. To which they arrived with attitude stating they would verify when we left. They were stopped in tracks by one of our family members who works in health care to say it's much nicer for medical staff to come give the reassurance while family are present where we can then give you time to do and can come back for us to do our last goodbyes. They shrugged their shoulders and just started to verify in front of us as if our family member was nothing but another tick box. Which left one of our family members really hurt and upset as palliative care patients are just as important as all other patients. We felt there was no empathy, care or compassion shown at all. 

As mentioned there were some staff who were very attentive towards the family, just disappointing that the negatives have outgrown the positives on such an important time as a family.